Don't Shelve your Creative Self Just Because You're A Mom

Life Update (kala mo vlogger!!!)

Our little bachuy just turned 2 months yesterday!

Eto na  ang pinakamatinong pic namin 2 kahapon haha! 
We tried taking a photo of us 3 but she was crying, soooo... 
sa 3 months nalang niya ulit ;)

Whatever happened to the time! It’s crazy to think that it’s been almost a year since I got pregnant, remember how I found out? And how I threw my first pregnancy kit which already tested positive because I thought the faint line wasn’t counted? Lol!

And yet here we are, me typing away on a keyboard on the dining table while my two babies are taking a snooze in the room (the other baby being my husband :P)

It’s quiet in the house, which is a much welcome breather to an otherwise frantic morning.

Thankfully, Sophia Zayn is sleeping longer at night these days so we are better rested than we were a month ago. A month ago was akin to a Walking Dead episode with my eyes half-closed,  walking ever so slowly to our sofa with a much tinier Sophia in both hands (because I was super scared I would drop her!), so I can breastfeed her in the wee hours of the morning.

Pretty accurate...  no, REALLY accurate

And look at me today!

Laptop in front of me, a cup of 3-in-1 on my right and peanut butter lactation goodies within reach, pouring my thoughts once again as a newbie mom. I have gone a long way! Haha!

How Mommyhood Has Changed Me

You know the feeling of knowing that a lot has changed and yet nothing has changed? I’m not trying to be philosophical but if that sounds deep, then I’ll take it!

Motherhood has changed the way I view things – priorities are as clear as day! Family is second next to God, so if the choice was to write or do something on the side or to attend to Sophia, the answer is a no-brainer. It’s always Baby Sophia.

If am faced with the decision to be efficient vs to be focused, then I would choose the latter. If you know me, I like things fast and efficient. But since being a mom is so new to me, I would rather take my time knowing I am doing it right, than rush into things with Sophia and also missing out on her new ways and antics because my mind was so busy multitasking. It’s as if life has placed me in a new learning curve and I am feeling and plotting my way into it…

...Yet Made Me More Meeee

Yet I am reconciling to more bits and pieces of myself that I felt has gone dormant for awhile. I watched a few episodes of Making Mega (the magazine) last week and that jolted a sense of interest and wonder into the creativity and hard work put into it. It made me want to do something creative and challenging once again.

I feel like that part of me has been shelved for some time, yes I am able to still do creative things from time to time but not really to the point that excites and rejuvenates me.

Last year's workshop which had to be postponed for a month because I was on bedrest while I was on my first trimester :D

And to be honest, I have been putting off writing since I gave birth because I don't think I can finish a single post in one sitting because there isn’t enough time or I don't have enough energy. I was looking for the right time to do it – and I didn't want to feel frustrated of not being able to finish what I started so I just didn't start.

Flex ko lang!

But I was listening to a podcast the other day of a mom with several kids who owns a sustainable fashion line that helps people and she was asked, how does she do it? Like where does she find space to even be creative with the many things on her plate?

And she said that it was flexibility.

She said that if you are going to wait to have an hour all to yourself when the house is quiet and you have less things to do on your list, then you will probably wait a long time.

But if you see a window of even just 7 minutes or a couple if minutes wherein you can be creative or do something new, then grab it. You have to be flexible and ride the new wave and dynamics of your changing lifestyle.

Then if you don't finish what you started in one sitting, it’s fine. The world will not result in shambles and you just have to find another 7 minutes to continue what you started.

You have to keep growing, adjusting in ways so that you can still hold on to who you are with everything around you changing. Don’t shelve the things that make you feel excited and passionate about.

Also, I realized that being a mom is not an either-or situation.

You don't have to choose just one

Life is meant to be integrated in a way that your heart, soul and mind are as seamless with the things that you are doing and how you are being.

Like I feel like I am a better mom if I keep on writing because then I get to reflect and store memories on how my daughter is growing up with short poems and letters for her. I am also able to think of new lyrics to replace the words of certain nursery rhymes to make it more value-laden and meaningful for kids.  (I mean what is up with the “five little monsters jumping on the bed” song?  Bakiiittttttt)

In the same way, I can also be a better writer because I am mom because being a mom has widened my experience and increased my capacity to love and be patient (because there are many opportunities to be unloving and impatient haha!)

What I am saying is, there is no push and pull in being who you are now (if you’re about to enter college or to get a new career) and with the things that you are passionate about.

You can pour your heart and soul on a canvas or on piece of paper that would represent your life, your thoughts and what you believe in. And your life could inspire you to see and discover new colors and strokes to put on those canvas or sheets of paper so you can encourage others to do the same.

You just have to stop waiting for the good solid hour of perfection and create space for creativity wherever you may be or however you feel. 

Created to Create 

Just the other day, I was breastfeeding Sophia on the bed then I realized to try writing while at it so I grabbed the laptop and just started typing. I had to stop for a few times so I can attend to her then just returned to typing after she settled in next to me (it was also the first time I placed her beside me on the bed to sleep because I usually put her on her crib if I am going to do something) and I realized that “kaya naman pala!”

We are created to create no matter how old you are or what season you find yourself in.

So go ahead and be on the lookout for those 7 minutes... and what do you know, maybe life can afford you with 2 hours of absolute stillness in the comfort of your home complete with snacks and coffee on hand like it did to me ;)