Dare to be Real

I'm not normal, am I? I exclaimed this to two of my friends last night, to which they both laughed.

Then they said that I was indeed normal. Hooray to being declared sane! I was telling them of my emotions lately and how it has been going haywire and my husband has been my emotional dumping station (poor guy, I know) and I was getting frustrated at myself kasi bakit ba ganito mga nararamdaman ko??? Normal ba ako??

And I am so grateful for friends who can tell you that your insanity is still bordering on normal (is there such a thing??) and laugh at what you have been keeping bottled up inside.

Just yesterday morning, I heard this quote: Trust is not a matter of timing but really, of courage.

While I also subscribe to the idea that trust is built on bricks of consistency which can only be built over time... I cannot help but also agree with the previous saying. Trusting is for the courageous, for those who are willing enough to be who they truly are, with the possibility of being rejected--or in the social media speak, bashed. Because yes, you have 50% chance of being rejected, but you also have a 50% chance of being accepted. 

So the question is, which half are you willing to risk?

I chewed on this and was brought back to how Jesus loves me. What makes His love so amazing is not the fact that He is so passionate to love us to the point of death (although that is already amazing on its own) but that He knows us best (the worst parts that we even hide to the majority) and yet He still loves us the most. 

So if someone already loves me that well, how can one's rejection hurt me that deep? Trusting is easier when you know that you are already loved and accepted. Showing who you truly are becomes worth it when someone worthy values your worth and Jesus loves and values you, so what is there left to fear?

If you know me then you will know that I am a pretty defensive person. Dennis knows this about me and has seen how I put up a wall in an instant, even when we got married. He has called this out to me a few times, and the most recent one was this morning, just after I shared to him what has been going on inside of me and how baffled I am of my emotions at times. Vulnerability begets vulnerability, that's what I also learned.

When someone starts to open up, it's easier for others to do the same. And that's what I am learning and relearning these days. It's a conscious effort on my part, to tell you honestly but it's also freeing to finally be out there in the open with your feelings and all. 

In a world of perfectly curated Instagram feeds, I say that these cracks and imperfections are a breath of fresh air. Because it is then that you will only truly feel what it's like to be known and truly loved.

So these questions beg to challenge you: how are you in the authenticity scale? How real are you to yourself and to those around you? Do you have people that you can be 100% yourself with? 

If you don't, would you dare to be real -- imperfections and all? :)

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With some of my co-crazy and trustworthy friends!

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