Akala ko Alam ko na ang Love (Part 1)

I was the girl who reads chick-lit, Sweet Valley High and love stories when I was young... I was the girl who penned poems ever since I could write -- with the single goal of making the last syllable of each verse rhyme with the next verse -- you would laugh if you saw my poems :P I was the girl who likes watching romcoms and would wistfully wonder when my time would finally come when I would meet the One.

So I have a lot of ideas on what love was all about -- thanks to the books and movies I devoured ever since I was a child.

At 25, these are my definitions of love:

  • Love is friendship on fire (the good kind, like I believe that love is friendship in the best sense of the word but with romance and passion)
  • Love is putting the person's happiness before your own
  • Love is a choice

I felt like I had a pretty good grasp of what love was all about at that time and hey, that's a pretty good set of definitions don't you think?

But now that I am married, I realized that there really is more to love than what I thought it was. Here is the first one:

Love is making sacrifices, not just compromises.

It was one of our kapehan-sa-umaga sessions when Dennis told me gently that we need to start planning for a new business soon.

I nodded in agreement but then my face has a way of being super transparent that I may be nodding my head at that time but my expression is painted with a clear-as-day defiant NOOOOO.

Dennis: (sensing this) Medyo steady ka in starting new things noh?
Me: (defensive na) Hindi ako steady, kaya ko yan gawin. Hindi ko lang alam san ko pa siya isisingit sa dami nang ginagawa ko (then I started enumerating the things to him one by one... Oh boy *palmface emoji here*)

I was getting irritated and my face showed it. Needless to say, the convo turned a sour note from then, we just changed topic so we didn't have to deal with it that day but we knew we had to talk about it again soon.

Days went by and God was dealing something in my heart -- He reminded me that I am called to be Dennis' helper -- and that means supporting him and cheering him on for the things that God is calling him to do.

But I can't do that with the pace that I am going. So I assessed the things that I was doing and one of which was the shoe business. I've been handling that for several years already so I was a bit sad but I knew in my heart I had to let it go. I can push myself to still run it, yes, but I may be short-fused most of the time, tired and burned out... and that's no-good for our marriage.

So said goodbye to that so I can be the helper that God is calling me to Dennis. :)

In marriage, God will call you to not just make compromises but even sacrifices. I know that the shoe business is just a small thing compared to what I may be called to sacrifice in the future -- but I knew that in the long run something more valuable is at stake -- so what I am doing is really investing in our marriage and developing my muscles as a wife and a future mom.

So it's not just a give and take kind of thing, love is about sacrifices and what are you willing to do for the sake of your relationship.

But here is the thing about it, when you apply this kind of love in marriage -- you are not on the losing end -- in fact, your marriage wins when both of you are willing to make sacrifices for each other :)