To Go or Not to Go?

This is one of my fave photos of last year and I'm just reminded on how I really liked Singapore when we went there because of how organized, clean and disciplined that city is!

Honestly, I've been toying with the idea of working there for a few years now. I went there last year for both leisure and a little business. For business because my cousin said that I have to first check out the city to see whether it's a place I can see myself living in before I make a decision to work there... and well, I liked it! Maybe the predictability of everything will bore me eventually but I just want to be able to earn more and learn to hold my own in a foreign country.

More than a few times, I see myself in a crossroad between just turning back and jumping into this elusive goal of working overseas. The timing just doesn't seem right every time. Ask me a few weeks ago, and I'm so excited to just jump on a plane heading to Changi airport and giving it my very best shot... No guarantees of course. I know there's a chance that I may be heading back to Manila a few weeks after with nothing to show for but my passport but at least there's the satisfaction in knowing that I tried.

The bigger the risk, the bigger the loss (living there for a few weeks won't be cheap!) but there's also a bigger reward waiting for me if all goes according to plan.

Right now though, I am torn, yet again. Someone reminded me to ask myself why I pray for the things that I am praying for... and if you ask me, it's for the money to help out my family and for me to grow independent.

It's possible that those will be glorifying God but will going away glorify God more than if I stay here? Maybe this is also just the fear talking, the fear of pushing myself outside my comfort zone and the fear of missing out. There are many things plotted for the year including my sister's wedding, and I know she is kind of counting on me to be here to help out and just be here.

I know that I can glorify God anywhere but only He can answer where He wants to plant me this year.

It's a good thing though that prayer and fasting week is coming up! From January 5-9, I will be gobbling liquid for 5 days with the likes of Campbell and juice drinks... but I pray that things will be clearer by the end of the week. :)

Decisions, decisions, decisions... I just want nothing more than clarity. I'm reminded that I just have to lift them all up to God and be ready to move my feet when He speaks.