Throwback Thursday: Be the Man You Want to Marry

Throwback Thursday! Words edition :)

I wrote this post almost two years ago, I've had 3 blogs for the past four years so my ramblings and thoughts have been tucked away in three different places in the digital space. Reminds me of Voldemort and how he hid his soul to 7 different objects. Nerd alert! Hehe!

So here it is, my realizations as far as marrying is concerned, when I was 23 years old:

Be the Man You Want to Marry
Posted in July 11, 2011

"More than just liking the person’s face and effort, you should ask whether you actually LIKE the guy. As a person, is he someone you look up to? It raises the bar somehow, to be able to bring back the admiration and inspiration into the picture.” - I found myself texting this to my friend the other day.

The gist of this whole mini monologue was the quote I got from a Filipino author, Tweet Sering, the author of the book Astigirl (which is really astig, btw): Be the man you want to marry.

When I heard this, one guy I was crushing on came creeping into my mind.

Okay, so since this guy is practically a celebrity in his day and he is already married with one kid (sniff, sniff) let me disclose his identity: Kiddo Cosio.

The time I really noticed him was when their band, Genrev, played at our school’s send off program for seniors. And he was playing the guitar and they played a few praise songs, including “Hosanna,” which is the kind of song that just makes you want to play over and over again with your eyes closed, as you breathe in the lyrics.

After that, I started typing his name on our computer lab’s PCs (stalkerazzi symptom #1, check!). And I was just blown away by this guy’s writing and passion for God.

Wow. This guy is amazing. He writes, he surfs (yes, he does), he plays the guitar, he sings, and in all these, he praises God with his heart and his mind.

Well, now that he is married with a kid, he and his wife created this blog with the intent to see God in everything. Thus, their blog is titled, “I See God in That”.

And I have to say, that this guy right here is someone I truly admire and like. I guess we all get drawn to people who have the qualities we want in a person, and those are the qualities we want for ourselves.

Thing is, many don’t usually end up with those guys. Many don’t end up with the guy that they truly admire.
Those that they look up to.

And no, I am not saying you should idolize the person, to the point of being creepy and downright sinful. They just have to be someone that you don’t only love but you actually LIKE.

Like if you enumerate their qualities one by one, you would actually want those qualities for yourself because these are good qualities.

The idea is to be the man you want to marry, and marry the man you actually want to be.

It’s like a test, really. When you meet someone, and wow, great chemistry! You hit it off really well 10 minutes into the conversation. This person can be it! And then you started going out, and then one date turns into four dates. You started meeting each other’s friends, and now little by little family members start to enter the picture, then holidays, birthdays, birthdays of friends… The family tree of the person starts to take form as you meet them one by one…

When all is starting to lead to the church altar and your relatives start to hear the proverbial bells getting louder as the weeks tick by, ask yourself if you truly LIKE the person.

Now, people might say, DUH, I LOVE him, so in short I had to LIKE him right? Well, yes that may be the case. But try to think of all the guys that you loved, those you held dear to your heart or you had a relationship with—how many of those do you truly want to marry? Those that you want to spend the rest of your live with? Someone to grow old with? Then, from that list, how many of those do you want to be as a person? Like, when you look at the person from afar, you would be saying, “I am so lucky that I am with him” with that awe-inspired twinkle from your eyes from being blessed with someone who inspires you and makes you want to be better.

I guess the idea of “Be the man you want to marry” is to hold, not only your future spouse, to a higher standard, but more importantly, yourself.

More than looking for the crumpled paper with the heading “10 things I look for in a man” in the trash can that some of us may have long discarded when we reached college, we should look for that list with the heading “The woman I want to be.”

So before you start worrying about finding the man you want to marry, first be the man you want to marry… then take it from there.

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