Wedding series: Bride-chilla or Bride-zilla?
I thought of writing a short article for the newly-engaged out there! Yes, you! If you just got engaged, congratulations!
Maybe you're probably just like me, sometimes hysterical, sometimes overwhelmed with the things that need to happen before you walk down the aisle.
"No to this, yes to peace" -- repeat 10x
Medyo late reaction akong nilalang, so after Dennis proposed, it took me two days before I realized that the ring on my hand actually signifies something life-changing... and that being engaged means that a wedding has to happen --- and a wedding is an event that you have to plan and execute.
So before you jump into the wedding-planning bandwagon, here are 5 things that will hopefully help you on your way to being the most beautiful Bride-chilla to walk on the face of the planet...
1. Set your objectives
Yes, you got that right. Aside from saying "I do" to each other, what else do you want your wedding to achieve?
Since you will already be shelling out money for a one-day event, might as well make it an affair to remember, right? :)
Days after we got engaged, this was the first question Dennis and I answered. It helped us to see the bigger picture and it expanded our perspective to realize that there are actually more people involved in our wedding and not just the two of us in our tiny bubble.
These are some of the questions we asked ourselves: What do we want the guests to see and remember? Do we want them to be encouraged and inspired with our story? Do we want them to marvel on how amazing and faithful God can be? Do we want to promote causes that are important to both of us as a couple?
I think what makes the entire planning enjoyable is to refrain from having a basta-matapos-nalang mindset (which is so tempting to just switch to when things get a little too overwhelming) but to see that this can actually achieve a greater purpose and that God can use it to minister and share His love to others.
2. Set your big rocks
Ano daw?! :P Big rocks are the elements that you will focus on the wedding. So ask yourselves, what are the 3 things you are willing to splurge a little bit more on and are important to the both of you to be extra beautiful and special?
For us, it's the venue (thus, the 1-month hunt), food and the program. There are many elements that you may consider in a wedding. It can be the photo/video, the music, the overall atmosphere/set up, the wedding gown, etc. Whatever it may be, agree on those 3 so when the decision time comes, you know what to say no to, because your no is as important as your yes.
3. Set your budget
Unless your Erwan and Anne, this is really necessary. :P How much is your cap for the wedding? You should also include your expenses after the wedding, like 3 months' rent at least (leave and cleave, ey!), your budget for your furniture, appliances to make your new place a home and of course, the honeymoon!
Ayaw naman natin na nganga na tayo after natin mag I do! :P
4. Make room for God to move
Jumping off from the point above, one of the best advice I was given during this season is to make room for God to move. If every supplier on your list is just enough to suit your budget, asan si God dun? Kung kaya mo naman na pala lahat, hindi mo na kelangan magdepend kay God for more.
So even though you have set your objectives, your budget and your top 3 elements... seek and listen to what God is saying. Is He telling you to bless another couple? Is He saying that you need to consider this other supplier although it's not your top choice? Is He telling you to invite this and this although you haven't talked for ages?
Seek, trust God, and give Him space to work wonders.
A couple told us that wedding planning is like looking at a linear scale from 0-10, the 0-9 is the preparation and the wedding is the 10--it's really just the cherry on top.
So all the fun parts, the learning (yes, including the mishaps and fights) the tiny victories spread out in those months -- everything of those happen BEFORE the wedding. You're already building memories RIGHT NOW. You're already growing as a couple RIGHT NOW. You're already building character NOW.
So learn to enjoy the preps as much as the wedding day itself. Respect and enjoy the journey as much as the destination.
There you have it! If you're already married, you may also share other tips by commenting below! :)
Photo credits: http://www.tvguide.com/tvshows/bridezillas/191423/